My Affiction

It began just over a week ago, being jolted out of bed at three in the morning with stabbing pain from ear to ear and a chorus of trumpets playing in bell towers blaring in my head.  After tediously making my way to the bathroom and then back to the bed,  all the while listing to one side much as a Carnival Cruise ship having a bad day, I collapsed ........on the bed........with a heating pad.........on my ear.  It was hard to choose which of the afflicted cranial appendages to comfort, so I chose the one which felt most like it had expanded to three times its size and had the pressure of Old Faithful......the right one.
              In about a minute I heard a loud Pop........no, more of a bang!!  Then,
                            a minute later, another..........this is not going to be good!!

Somehow, I survived the rest of the morning until the doctors office opened,
           and.......explaining my circumstances in explicit detail (and crying a bit),
                    they were able to work me in in a short amout of time.

Of course, I was diagnosed with the worst ear infection she

had seen, given a multitude of prescriptions for anti-

biotics, and nasal sprays and told to stay in touch.

And I did stay in touch, because, this affliction has done

nothing but continue to get worse as I added

bronchitis to my misery.

This aquarium, which I now have growing in my ear, is doing nothing short of driving me insane!!  The pressure is constant and I now feel that I have some understanding of what Old Faithful goes through  in its ritual preparation for its hourly eruption. 

Another irritating conundrum is the loss of hearing.....more in my right ear than in my left.  It's not a true loss, however.  It's severly reduced. And what I do hear in my right ear comes in a second or two after I hear it in my left.  Like a little echo.......a tiny little voice.  Now, I've heard voices before, but this is entirely different and totally annoying!!

Then there is music........trying to listen to music.......in a car........in stereo ..... when Little Sir Echo is managing your faculties, it is enough to want to make you want to rip your ears out of your head!!!  Nothing is in key!!!  Nothing!!!

And......on top of all of this..........my tinnitis is amped up ten times so......in addition to the pressure, the echos, the partial deafness........the only thing I can really hear, and very loudy, are the hundreds of violins which are incessently playing continuously the one high pitched note over and over and over and over...............

And, none of this appears to have any inclination to go away.........inspite

of the doctor visits, antibiotics, nasal sprays, and decongestants.  It

has left me disordered and distressed and still listing to one

side.  All the while having to care for my ailing mother

who, herself, has developed bronchitis and a sinus

 infection.

 And now I must rest, because, tomorrow is another day, and inspite of my infirmaties, my life and my job must go on.  So I'm heading for bed and will lie there with the unrelenting barrage of violins playing that high pitched note over and over and over.........oh to sleep......

The Beginning......

Okay, so I'm not really in charge.....we'll leave that to the Almighty.  But, like everyone else, I like to think that I can control everything in my life. 
And then........
             someone, or something, sideswipes me and sends me spiraling off in 
                      an alternate direction, bumping and bruising myself along the
                                way, and leaving me in a state of unsetteled puzzlement.
Of course, it was God who probably arranged the "accident"
          in the first place, in an effort to get my attention and assure me
                    that the way I was going was not the way He intended.  And......of course He is right, and although the alternative may be frought with anxious moments and prayer, everything eventually works out in the end.

So.......I have started this blog to hopefully take charge of something in my crazy and sometimes tumultuous life.  Though, I know that before I will be sharing my thoughts, I will most often be saying a prayer for clarity of mind and verbal inspiration.  I am in charge.....yet led by a desire to write......which has been placed in my heart by my Lord. 
                                                             It is He who is ultimately in charge.